Opening up and showing your most vulnerable self isn’t easy. But today I’m ready to take you on a journey that has made me feel embarrassed and uncomfortable for most of my life.
For as long as I can remember I’ve suffered from pretty severe acne. Some months are better than others, but for the most part it’s painful, frustrating and makes me feel ugly. Until recently, you wouldn’t dare catch me without a stick of makeup on unless you were family or a close friend. The heightened awareness of the glaring imperfections staring back at me every time I looked in a mirror didn’t get better with time.
Working in news there is pressure to always look “perfect.” Each morning I’d thoroughly apply makeup, covering up each scar and breakout, but that didn’t always do the trick. If my skin was really acting up, I’d ask my photographer to make sure the light was just right or to keep the shot wide enough so viewers couldn’t see any imperfections on air. While you couldn’t tell from the television screen, I knew that underneath all the makeup and lights there was the one thing that made me feel ugly.
The breakouts haven’t healed, but over time I’ve become more confident and comfortable in my skin. While I’m not as nervous to sometimes walk out of the house makeup free, acne still has a hold me. Anyone who has acne knows the fight to getting clear skin isn’t always black and white. Over the years, I’ve tried medications and nearly every skincare regimen under the sun. Yet here I am, at 24 years old, still struggling with breakouts and scarring.
In 2017, I tried two new skincare regimens; Rodan & Fields and Arbonne. Let me start by saying everyone’s skin is different, so not every product works well with every skin type. With that said, I’m grateful to the friends who helped me try both products in hopes that they would work! R&F seemed to work at first, but I didn’t see the results I was hoping for. This led me to try Arbonne, which I’ve seen the most success with so far.
As you can see in the pictures above, the breakouts started to stop and the scarring started to heal. However, every couple weeks my skin would freak out, bringing me right back to square one. After speaking to an esthetician friend about the acne line with Arbonne, she reminded me that it’s important to keep your skin hydrated even when you’re trying to dry out acne. That’s why I’ve switched to the Re9 line, and so far I love how moisturized my skin is. However, I still can’t see to control the breakouts. (I should also note that I’ve been using their makeup line and LOVE it! The coverage is amazing and the fact that the products are natural is a big bonus.)
Right now I have no idea what the final answer will be to getting clear skin, but I’m confident the answer is near. In February, I’m set to visit a doctor who will evaluate my skin and I’ll start on a new acne program, which I’ll be documenting right here on the #homemeansblog. For the longest time I’ve allowed acne to make me feel insecure. Thank you for allowing me to share this journey, and I’m excited to continue to do so in the new year!
**Special thanks to my friends who have worked to help me find the answer to clear skin!**